Big Baby Dilemna

There's a girl, Anna, in my school who I've been friends with for a pretty long time.
She's very mean and annoying and vicious.
Evil, per se.
I hate her.
And I have for a while.

Let me give you some background info on the bad things she's done to me and my family, shall I?
~She used to show off her gymnastic skills during recess and completely ignore me. When I asked if she would teach me how to do a cartwheel, or hula hoop, or something, she'd say No and then practically rub it into my face how she could do thing I couldn't, or how since she was so "little and cute" people liked her better than me
~In third grade she told the class she was coming to my sleepover birthday party which i only invited like 3 people to...and all the girls in my class got mad at me, asking why i didn't invite them. I had to explain that I was only allowed to invite a few people but even then I could sense they were annoyed at me
~Once we got in a fight because apparently I ditched dora or said something mean to dora or something and Anna just stalked up to me at recess and hit me and then walked away after yelling something at me
~In sixth grade we had an awards ceremony and i got Spelling Star because i won the spelling bee in my unit. Anna was runner-up. So Anna got the spirit award and later on the bus she told me quite spitefully that if i didn't win the spelling bee I wouldn't have gotten any award.
~She told my friend i had a (nonexistent) "special problem" which was why no one wanted to share a bed with me when we go to Hershey Park at the end of the year(I'll explain the trip later)
~Once she shoved my sister Michelle off a table
And then, there's this recent awakening of old hatreds and issues:

This year for our music program trip to hershey park, we were thinking about rooming the same as last year, me, anna, dora, and joyce. You room with 3 other people, basically, for one night. Anna had been pretty nasty so I decided...I didn't really want to be with anna this year. Last year at the park when my group were in line for the Coal Cracker ride, Anna suddenly decided she didn't want to go on the ride and started ranting about how her stuff got all wet when we rode it in sixth grade. I was like, well we've been waiting in line for a while...and I want to go on the ride. So she takes the ziploc bag of all our electronics (so they wouldn't get busted when they got wet) our of her backpack, takes out her phone and iPod, drops the ziploc bad into my hands, turns around, and leaves. When my group came off the ride we saw anna bawling her eyes out with some girls patting her shoulder and reassuring her. They saw us and immediately confronted us, demanding "why'd you just ditch anna!? you guys are so mean!" We explained how it wasn't that we ditched her, but vice-versa. Anna had ditched us. In a heat of rage and annoyance dora just left somewhere and anna ran off looking for her. We spent a LOONG time finding them and making everything smooth again. It's just like anna had said when pacing back and forth hysterically, looking for dora: "This is the WORST hershy trip ever!"
After something like that, can you blame me for wanting my LAST year at middle school, my LAST hershey trip, to go all right? To actually be able to enjoy myself without dreading the quickly arriving high school that's looming over my head? Or to not worry about some drama queen running off and turning people against me?
So Joyce was saying to me, I'd rather have camile. Camile is a nice, funny person. She's calm (*cough cough anna cough cough*) and has an agreeable disposition. She just seems like the person who radiates the message "I'm nice! I'll compromise! I'll listen and comfort you!" Even if she can get kind of annoying at times, she's not a bad person. And it's not like she ever gets mean intentionally (again, *cough cough anna cough cough*). So I thought, hey! here's a good idea! I would MUCH rather have Camile than Anna. So we asked Dora, who apathetically said, "i don't really care...i'm ok with either."
The next issue was telling anna our decision.
Joyce said she was terrified of Anna. And Joyce doesn't even know her like I do! I was scared too, because Anna definitely has the potential to turn the whole school against me. So after much thought and careful planning, I sent Anna a text on Tuesday which, frankly, I think, was pretty nice. Nicer than saying "Hey, we're ditching you!" anyway. It went like this:
So, yeah, here's the deal...me and joyce kinda want camile in our room and dora doesn't care who, so yeah...we could help you find another room or something? Point is, we want camile...PLZ don't feel bad we don't hate you...we'd just feel more comfortable with camile...Sry
Well of course you know i DO hate her, but I didn't want her to feel even worse that we were, without beating around the bush, "kicking her out". So i made a tiny white lie that was intended to make the receiver of the message feel better. And what does Anna do?

I came into Orchestra this morning and was sitting there shaking like a leaf in a windstorm, frightened out of my wits. I heard anna whining to my friend Pallavi about how
"she texted me! she couldn't even say it to my FACE!"
gulp.

I went and talked to Pallavi for a while, and then Gordon came in and said "I heard...you guys are such d*cks."
double gulp.
That was NOT a good way to start my day.

I stumbled through the day. I was deathly afraid that everyone was going to hate me. Also that Anna might go to a teacher. I wouldn't have put it past her.
I mean, seriously. Who do you think teachers are going to pick sides with? Me?
Or cute adowable wittle anna?
Not a comforting thought.
According to some of my friends, she was telling everyone in Kappa about how I ditched her. Oh, and that she said I could f*ck off.

So the stressful day finally ends and I'm ready to go home. I'm standing outside talking to my friends and this girl Jess comes over and says to me, "You ditched anna!?"
triple gulp.

But you know, whatever.
Anna really is a hypocrite. So I know I'm right. And I don't have to worry about what anyone thinks.

She ranted about how I couldn't say it to her face, but she didn't come whining about it to my face either.
She said I could f*ck off, but that's what she got mad at me for: I DID f*ck off, but all I did was take my hershey roommates with me!
She acted like she had soo many friends before. Then why is it such a problem for her to find new friends?

I was worried at first, but I don't really care anymore.
Because as long as you don't make it a big deal...it's not.

You see, I kinda think of anna as a drug...the thought just came to me yesterday when playing piano. i mean, at first you hang out with anna (take drug) and it's fun. then you get addicted...you can't stop hanging out with her cuz she's so "funny" and "cute" and entertaining or whatever. and it's slowly breaking you down, doing bad things to you...and you decide, well I can't hang with anna anymore. i can't take this drug anymore. and you decide to quit but she won't let go, she's clinging, like when you can't quit drugs. and when you finally get rid of her, shake her off, let her know you mean business (like i did), WOWW!! You feel so happy all the time...it almost brings tears to my eyes to think about how I was restraining myself all those years and practically whipping myself over and over, day after day, just by being friends with anna.I was slowly killing myself and now I'm healing. i feel so free, like there's nothing keeping me from doing what i want to do, saying what I want to say. I don't have to worry about some brat going "ugh, ur SO stupid..." constantly...